The Scrappy Email Marketer

Email Tip About Privacy

Andrew Kordek — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 16:39:48 +0000

“We reserve the right to sell, rent and/or distribute your email address…..” is another way of saying….we don’t give a rats ass about your privacy and will do whatever we want with your email.

Filed under: email best practices, email marketing Tagged: email, email marketing, privacy, privacy policies

Email Marketing Question #3

Andrew Kordek — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 16:26:41 +0000

How many of those RFP requirements are you leveraging in your new ESP these days?

Filed under: email service providers, email strategy Tagged: email, email marketing, email service provider, ESP's

Which ESP is the “best”?

Andrew Kordek — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 16:34:45 +0000

Every ESP sucks at one thing or another. You just need to decide which part of the suck you can live with.

Filed under: email best practices, email marketing, email service providers, email strategy Tagged: email, email best practices, email marketing, email service provider, ESP, ESP Choice, RFP

Email Tip #34.56

Andrew Kordek — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 15:32:27 +0000

Don’t forget..your subscriber is a real person, not just a number.

Filed under: email content, email engagement, email marketing tips Tagged: crm, email, email acquisition, email marketing, email subscriber, email tips

Welcome Email – Knock Knock

Andrew Kordek — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 16:10:44 +0000

Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Crappy welcome email

Crappy welcome email who?

I’m sorry..but welcome

Filed under: email marketing, email strategy Tagged: email, email marketing, email sarcasm, welcome email

Email is Dead

Andrew Kordek — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 16:09:10 +0000

Of those that predicted or are predicting that email is dead, I wonder how many of them have bought something via email this week?

Filed under: email best practices, email strategy Tagged: email, email is dead, email marketing, email predictions

Email Sarcasm – Subscribers.

Andrew Kordek — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 15:21:32 +0000

1/7/11:

CMO to V.P. of Online Marketing: Hey….why does the latest report say we only have 12 million subscribers.

VP: That can’t be. Going into November we had 13.6 million. Something must be wrong with that report

VP to Director of Email Marketing: Hey…the subscriber report is wrong. It says we only have 12 million subscribers. Can you check it out?

Director: Its right.

VP: What? How did that happen?

Director: Well..we sent 46 emails in November and 67 in December.

VP: So?

Director: Well….in October we sent 12. In September we sent 11.

VP: Wow…how come we sent all that email in November and December.

Director: We had to make our numbers.

VP: Who set those numbers?

Director: You did. You said it came from “above” We should have told our subscribers we were going to increase our email sends, but someone denied that.

VP: This is crazy….we lost 1.6 million people in November and December. But we had an incredible Holiday.

Director: Wonder if it was worth it. Wonder if any of those 1.6 million are high value customers.

VP: Lemme tell those folks above.

VP to CMO (after telling them the news) So…what do you think?

CMO: Can we send an email to those 1.6 million and ask why they left us.

Its only January folks…..I will be here all year.

Filed under: email acquisition, email marketing, email strategy Tagged: email, email acquisition, email cadence, email marketing, email sarcasm

Email Reality

Andrew Kordek — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 18:36:15 +0000

We can’t create this email testing infrastructure you talk about….we will scare off all of IT with that request.

Filed under: email best practices, testing Tagged: email marketing, email reality, email testing

Email Predictions for 2011 – NOT

Andrew Kordek — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 16:09:58 +0000

I have none. Just go out and execute and stop worrying what others are saying.

Filed under: email marketing Tagged: email, email best practices, email marketing, email predictions, email trends

Email Sarcasm

Andrew Kordek — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 17:28:55 +0000

I know we have a delivery issue….I just know it. My Aunt Mary got her email, but it got there 6 hours late.

Filed under: Deliverability, email deliverability Tagged: email delviery, email marketing, email sarcasm, email tips

Email Common Sense

Andrew Kordek — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 16:04:36 +0000

The more time you spend thinking of excuses on why you are not testing could be spent thinking of one test to execute

Filed under: email best practices, testing Tagged: email marketing, email testing, email tips

Email Sarcasm #2

Andrew Kordek — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 16:12:40 +0000

6:04 a.m.

Me: Hello?

Them: Dude…its 6:05 a.m. and I have not gotten the email.

Me: What email?

Them: I normally get an email from you everyday at 6:04 a.m.

Me: Did you check your spam folder?

Them: No.

Me: Check it.

Them: Nope. Nothing. Dude WTF..its now 6:06 and I still have not gotten anything.

Me: Calm down. It could be internet traffic or some sort of ISP issue.

Them: Internet traffic..what the hell? Its 6 am..who the hell is on the Internet?

Me: Well you are.

Them: Dude..I just sent an email to myself and it got here in like 2 seconds. Something is wrong.

Me: It will get there..trust me..maybe in 30 minutes.

Them: 30 minutes..I can’t wait that long…people are going to go crazy.

Me: You mean they are going to set themselves on fire?

Them: They are going sh&t.

Me: No they won’t. Go back to sleep….the email will get there.

Them: I can’t sleep. The internet is broken. Email is broken and you need to fix it.

and on and on and on and on…………

Ever have one of those delivery days where no one gets it?

Filed under: copywriting, Deliverability, email best practices, email blasting, email content, email deliverability, email engagement, email service providers, email strategy, good email Tagged: abuse, certification, delivery, email delivery, email marketing, email sign up, email strategy, email subscriptions, email tips, ESP, ESP's, internet marketing, ISP, spam

Words I can build with B.L.A.S.T.

Andrew Kordek — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 14:21:11 +0000

Everyone loves the word “blast” these days. So on this Friday, lets have some fun. If I have you the letters B-L-A-S-T, how many words can you make with it. I will start off with a couple and you play along as well.

Happy Blaster Day.

BAST

BLAT

LAST

………………..Your Turn………………………..

Filed under: email best practices, email blasting, email engagement, email marketing Tagged: email blasting, email marketing, use of the word blast

Email Marketing Sarcasm

Andrew Kordek — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 17:14:13 +0000

I heard recently that email marketing is filled with a bunch idiots who can’t send relevant email and that we are all breaking the law. Thanks goodness my Engulish dagree can payuff in the long run when I wants to get into mortguge backed up securities.

Filed under: email content, email deliverability, email engagement, email marketing, email marketing tips Tagged: email marketing, email sarcasm

Mobile Isn’t Killing Email From The Return Path Blog

Andrew Kordek — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 16:08:37 +0000

Here is a great post by George Bilbrey over at the Return Path blog. I could not agree with George more on this post. One of the things that kills me being in this industry is that so many people are willing to jump on the email is dead bandwagon so quickly without really understanding the history. I don’t think people are crazy for saying it, but they seem to say it more often and with so much conviction lately.

Folks….email marketing is not going away anytime soon…there is indeed a shift in how we as email marketers need to perfect our craft, but like anything..you either need to adapt or be left behind. Give the post a read below and let me know what you think.

Mobile Isn’t Killing Email :: Return Path Blog.

Filed under: email best practices, email blasting, email content, email deliverability, email engagement, email marketing Tagged: email, email is dead, email marketing, mobile, rss, SMS

Email Marketing Deep Thought

Andrew Kordek — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 13:03:10 +0000

If email has one of the highest ROI’s in marketing, why is it that it most often the most understaffed and underfunded parts of the organization?

Filed under: copywriting, email acquisition, email engagement, email read rates, relevancy Tagged: email management, email marketing, email ROI, email tips

Email Rant #32.1223876

Andrew Kordek — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 15:00:50 +0000

If the C-Suite runs your email program or sets the expectations, run for the hills.

Filed under: email acquisition, email best practices, email content Tagged: email marketing, email program, email rant, email tips

Email Rant #409.84

Andrew Kordek — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 13:59:07 +0000

Come on retailers….is it really the lowest prices of the season? Be more creative.

Filed under: email acquisition, email best practices Tagged: email creative, email marketing, email rant, eTailers

Email Tip #67.89

Andrew Kordek — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 14:52:34 +0000

An ESP choice should not be made by people who will never use the application.

Filed under: email marketing Tagged: email, email marketing, email tips

Email Tip #4

Andrew Kordek — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 15:10:44 +0000

Don’t wait for things to go bad in your subscriber base. Be proactive rather than reactive

Filed under: email best practices, email engagement Tagged: email, email marketing, email tips