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Email Tip About Privacy

March 8, 2011

“We reserve the right to sell, rent and/or distribute your email address…..” is another way of saying….we don’t give a rats ass about your privacy and will do whatever we want with your email.


Email Marketing Question #3

March 2, 2011

How many of those RFP requirements are you leveraging in your new ESP these days?

Which ESP is the “best”?

February 24, 2011

Every ESP sucks at one thing or another.  You just need to decide which part of the suck you can live with.


Welcome Email – Knock Knock

February 8, 2011

Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Crappy welcome email

Crappy welcome email who?

I’m sorry..but welcome


Email is Dead

January 31, 2011

Of those that predicted or are predicting that email is dead, I wonder how many of them have bought something via email this week?


Email Sarcasm – Subscribers.

January 7, 2011


CMO to V.P. of Online Marketing:  Hey….why does the latest report say we only have 12 million subscribers.

VP:  That can’t be. Going into November we had 13.6 million.  Something must be wrong with that report

VP to Director of Email Marketing: Hey…the subscriber report is wrong. It says we only have 12 million subscribers.  Can you check it out?

Director:  Its right.

VP: What?  How did that happen?

Director:  Well..we sent 46 emails in November and 67 in December.

VP: So?

Director: Well….in October we sent 12.  In September we sent 11.

VP:  Wow…how come we sent all that email in November and December.

Director:  We had to make our numbers.

VP:  Who set those numbers?

Director: You did.  You said it came from “above” We should have told our subscribers we were going to increase our email sends, but someone denied that.

VP:  This is crazy….we lost 1.6 million people in November and December.  But we had an incredible Holiday.

Director:  Wonder if it was worth it.  Wonder if any of those 1.6 million are high value customers.

VP: Lemme tell those folks above.

VP to CMO (after telling them the news) So…what do you think?

CMO:  Can we send an email to those 1.6 million and ask why they left us.

Its only January folks…..I will be here all year.