Email Sarcasm – Subscribers.
CMO to V.P. of Online Marketing: Hey….why does the latest report say we only have 12 million subscribers.
VP: That can’t be. Going into November we had 13.6 million. Something must be wrong with that report
VP to Director of Email Marketing: Hey…the subscriber report is wrong. It says we only have 12 million subscribers. Can you check it out?
Director: Its right.
VP: What? How did that happen?
Director: Well..we sent 46 emails in November and 67 in December.
Director: Well….in October we sent 12. In September we sent 11.
VP: Wow…how come we sent all that email in November and December.
Director: We had to make our numbers.
VP: Who set those numbers?
Director: You did. You said it came from “above” We should have told our subscribers we were going to increase our email sends, but someone denied that.
VP: This is crazy….we lost 1.6 million people in November and December. But we had an incredible Holiday.
Director: Wonder if it was worth it. Wonder if any of those 1.6 million are high value customers.
VP: Lemme tell those folks above.
VP to CMO (after telling them the news) So…what do you think?
CMO: Can we send an email to those 1.6 million and ask why they left us.
Its only January folks…..I will be here all year.