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Email Sarcasm – Subscribers.

January 7, 2011

1/7/11:

CMO to V.P. of Online Marketing:  Hey….why does the latest report say we only have 12 million subscribers.

VP:  That can’t be. Going into November we had 13.6 million.  Something must be wrong with that report

VP to Director of Email Marketing: Hey…the subscriber report is wrong. It says we only have 12 million subscribers.  Can you check it out?

Director:  Its right.

VP: What?  How did that happen?

Director:  Well..we sent 46 emails in November and 67 in December.

VP: So?

Director: Well….in October we sent 12.  In September we sent 11.

VP:  Wow…how come we sent all that email in November and December.

Director:  We had to make our numbers.

VP:  Who set those numbers?

Director: You did.  You said it came from “above” We should have told our subscribers we were going to increase our email sends, but someone denied that.

VP:  This is crazy….we lost 1.6 million people in November and December.  But we had an incredible Holiday.

Director:  Wonder if it was worth it.  Wonder if any of those 1.6 million are high value customers.

VP: Lemme tell those folks above.

VP to CMO (after telling them the news) So…what do you think?

CMO:  Can we send an email to those 1.6 million and ask why they left us.

Its only January folks…..I will be here all year.

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